The USMC
I haven’t really told anyone about my fears in joining the marines, but I really can’t believe I’m signed up, I don’t know wether it was a mistake or the best decision of my life, either way I’m nervous as fuck. Just knowing I’m having 8 years of my life gone just like that. Also there’s the fear of dying and the fact I don’t believe in god or religion or anything for that matter, I’ve been thinking about where you go after you kick the bucket and I really hope it’s not just an eternity laying in a hoe or in a vase of ashes. Leaving home is going to be the hardest, I’ve never been away from home for more then a month and I get home sick do fast and with honestly no one I’ll be writing when I’m gone I guess loneliness will kick in pretty soon, I mean shit i’m alone at home most of the time so I guess it won’t be much of a difference. Damn growing up passed by so fucking fast I swear I still remember the first day of school and every moment from there on. It’s so crazy just knowing 1 more year and I’ll officially be out of the house and on my own, not to many people realize how hard it is just to leave the comfort of home and the arm of your parents; it’s like you can’t live with em and can’t live without em. I just hope everything works out, I really hope I can make something out of my life and learn from my parents mistakes; I really hope I can make them proud, make everyone proud. I don’t know what it is but I feel like doing this will be all I’ll ever do, I don’t know rather that’s just the nervousness kicking in or the doubts I’ve always had. I really don’t know where I’ll be after this, maybe married, maybe in a casket, I just hope I can put a smile on the faces of those who have been the from the start.
